LTI Korea 
DLKL 
SIWF 
Low Resolution scrap
by Seo Ije
Translated by Léo-Thomas Brylowski
December 7, 2023
Author Bio 작가 소개
Seo Ije
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Winter was fading away. Following nature’scourse. Little by little, winter was fading away. Little by little, the days grew longer,allowing me to witness the sunset from start to finish on my way back fromwork. The scenery outside the subway window shifted rapidly before fading away.It faded away, but I, watching it fade away, did not. Far out into thedistance. My gaze remained locked, the sun now about to fade away from mylocked gaze. Following nature’s course. The sun slowly faded away.
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Fortunately, everyone at the office seemed tohave lunch on their own. I usually chose to spend my lunch breaks alone at acoffee shop. The coffee shop I frequented the most was only a short distancefrom the office. On some days I brought my own lunch to the office, but Iusually just preferred grabbing a small bite to eat such as a pastry with acoffee. Since I spent so much time at the coffee shop, I would occasionally seepeople waiting for someone there. These people who had been waiting for someonewould then turn into people meeting up with someone.
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A rendezvous. Waiting. One person meetsanother. Two people meet, but I have never met you. You told me that you workedas an app developer at a company nearby. This happy coincidence made us feelcloser, but were we really close? We often said that we should make time to seeeach other but never did. As things are, it seems unlikely we’ll ever see eachother. I don’t know the reason why you deleted your Twitter account sosuddenly. We exchanged a lot of messages with each other before your accountwas deleted.
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You said that you went for coffee every dayduring lunch at a coffee shop near your office. You said that drinking a lot ofcoffee did not interfere with your sleep at night. But you didn’t need muchsleep to begin with. You have a driver’s license, but you don’t own a carbecause you prefer riding the bicycle. You once learned how to swim. You’rerelatively healthy, but you were born with a weak heart. As a matter of fact,your grandfather died from a heart attack. You’ve been on a pilgrimage toJerusalem and you were pickpocketed on a trip to Europe. [. . .] You likereading books, and also occasionally enjoy going to the theater by yourselfafter work. You don’t mind being single. You enjoy spending time alone. Youtold me that people at your office spend the entire day staring at theircomputer. You told me that not much talking happened there. You told me thattyping and clicking sounds filled the silence instead. You were content withyour job. If you were telling the truth, that is. Although I knew a lot aboutyou, I neither knew your name, your gender, your age, your face, nor yourvoice. I didn’t even know your contact information.
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I once told you about P. I was comfortabledoing so since you didn’t know P. I knew that you and P wouldn’t be crossingpaths. P and I had nothing to say to each other at all. We would meet everyweek to eat, have drinks, and sleep together, but nothing else happened betweenus. I’m not even sure whether P really loved me or not, but that is of littleimportance now. Meeting P taught me two things. That a conversation is morethan a mere exchange of words, and that what I need isn’t a lover as much assomeone who I can have real conversations with. As it turns out, I feel love throughlanguage.
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It occurred to me that I might bump into P bychance someday. On the street, at a restaurant, or in the subway. I tried toimagine our chance encounter. It seemed fair to assume such a thing mighthappen one day. If I ever met P by chance, if that day really did come, I washoping we would just pass each other by. I was hoping that I wouldn’t recognizeP at all. Yes, that would be best. I wished that I would no longer be able torecognize P by then. Like we’d never met to begin with, as if we were total strangers.I was hoping that we would have become too old to recognize each other—that wewould have grown so completely distant that I wouldn’t even be able to recallP’s face.
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Iconjure up a distant memory of your face.
Forehead
Eyebrow Eyebrow
Ear Eye Eye Ear
Nose
Mouth
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Did I ever call you by your name? In a lovingmanner. Did I ever call you in such a way? I couldn’t remember your name. Icould only remember your face and whatever little time we spent together. Therewas no way for me to find you. I had no clues to fall back on. It wasimpossible for me to find you without your name. How could I forget your name?Perhaps it had been too long. Back when you were little, I was little as well.Your face came to replace your name for as far as I can remember.
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A little one who never even had a name, and alittle one whose name I can’t remember. I used to have two little siblings. Oneof them died before being born, and the other had their adoption revoked.Although I don’t know the name of the one who died, I know they existed.Although I don’t know the name of the other one whose adoption was revoked, Iknow they existed. If I can call them so, then I’m quite sure I used to havetwo little siblings.
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I don’t know my dead sibling’s face. It’sbecause I never got to see them. They never had a single photo taken of them.But that doesn’t mean they didn’t have a face. Once their heart formed andblood began flowing through them, things like their ears, eyes, mouth, and nosewould have started to take shape. From some moment on, they would have hadsmall holes destined to become ears and small spots destined to become eyes. Asthey began to move, they would have developed their sense of touch. As they beganto feel things, their facial features would have become increasinglywell-defined. they would havegrown fingers and toes, and their tail would have disappeared altogether. Itwouldn’t have taken long before they grew to the size of an adult hand. Theirfate would be determined with the formation of their genitals. As theircerebrum developed, they would have begun to think and remember things. Bythen, they would have been able to feel anger and sorrow, although theywouldn’t have known what they were called. Once they had a face, they wouldhave been able to smile and frown. Although they wouldn’t have known themeaning of love, they would have been able to feel it. Even without knowing anywords, they would have been able to feel all kinds of sensations and emotions.Little by little, their reddish skin would have darkened and become thicker asthey began to sense the world around them.
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They died suddenly one day. Their bones andflesh, their blood, their heart and stomach, their liver and spleen, theirappendix, their brain, their forehead, their eyebrows, their eyelashes, theireyes, their mouth, their lips, their nose and their nostrils, their ears andtheir ear canals, their hands and their fingers, their feet and their toes,their soft hair, their muscles, their nerves, their emotions, their shortmemories—all of these things which once belonged to them before dying. Icould’ve seen their face had they been born and not died. I could’ve seen theirface change with age as they grew up. Instead, they were labeled as “infectiouswaste” and disposed of in accordance with the law.
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I found myself alone for a while. I grew up,began to walk, and learned to talk. You showed up at our house just when Istarted talking. You’re a big sibling now. You became my little sibling that day.Although you didn’t know how to speak yet, you could make sounds to expressyour hunger or your dissatisfaction. You could also burp, sneeze, and smile atme. You lived with us for close to a month. Sometimes you sat on the bedstaring blankly at me. Was there something you wanted to tell me?
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There’s something I’ve been meaning to tellyou. Although you may not remember me, I have always remembered you. A lot hashappened at home since you returned to the arms of your grandmother and yourmother. Our family isn’t as well off as it used to be. I no longer live at thehouse where you and I used to live. Whenever we downsized to a smaller home,and when fights between my parents grew more frequent, and when red stickersappeared on our electrical appliances and furniture indicating they were to be seized,and as my personal space kept shrinking, I thought about you. I was glad youdidn’t have to go through any of that. Had you not left—or rather, had you notbeen returned—we would have gone through all these things together. I’m glad Iwas the only one subjected to this kind of life. Mom left. Dad stayed behind,and I watched him fall apart bit by bit. I’m really glad you weren’t there tosee that. But I always longed to see you. Although you probably don’t rememberme, you could have been my little sibling.
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They must be grown up by now and are nolonger a child. They must no longer have the face of a child. They used to havea wide and round forehead. Maybe. From what I remember, their face was roundbut their cheeks were not very plump. I think they had thick lips and a deepgroove under their nose. I’m not sure. I don’t remember well. But they did havea sharp nose. I can recall that clearly. No, I’m actually not even sure. Iremember their nose being sharp, but I’m not sure if it was sharp enough to be calledsharp. Although they may not have had a very sharp nose, it would also be wrongto say that they had a flat nose. They had very big eyes as well. Yes, Iremember their faint double eyelids. Their eyes were undeniably big. I rememberthose eyes vividly.
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You left a lasting impression on me. Althoughyou were smaller than me, your eyes were bigger than mine. Although your eyeswere very big, they were more than just that. Your eyes sparkled. They glowedbrightly like little marbles, like gems. They were moist. [. . .] kind and innocent. They were pure. Theywere pretty. They were beautiful. But they were more than just beautiful.Although I could remember your eyes, I couldn’t find the right words todescribe them. It was a nearly impossible task. I could try. I could make theeffort. But the more I described them, or the more I tried to describe them,the more I damaged them. I tried not to talk about you to prevent my words fromerasing what was left of your face.
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I was removing water. Water removal was acumbersome task. When photoshoots involved spraying water on a product, it wasalmost impossible to achieve the client’s desired outcome no matter how manytimes I tried. That’s because I had no control over the direction or the anglein which the water would go, and because the brand logo would sometimes getcovered in water. When this happened, I would take a photo of the productseparately and merge it with another photo of the product with water sprayedonto it to create the final image. I was removing and altering the water’sshape to create a beautiful image that would include the brand logo while alsocapturing the moment when the water came into contact with the product. Iadjusted the opacity, removed some water droplets, and added new waterdroplets, droplets, and droplets. When combining two photos together, it wasvital to achieve a seamless result.
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Summer was very hot this year, but winter wasalso very cold. Contrary to nature’s course. Paradoxically, the fact thatwinters have been getting colder serves as evidence that the Earth is graduallygetting warmer. The melting of glaciers driven by global warming is said tohave caused cold air from the North Pole to sweep across East Asia. Polar bearsare losing their habitat and dying. Polar bears are disappearing. Disappearingfast. One animal has disappeared even faster than polar bears. The Bramble Caymelomys. This small rodent was driven to extinction by rising sea levels.Although I’ve never seen one in real life, I could see them everywhere.Although I’ve never seen one in real life, I knew that they disappeared.
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I don’t think I would’ve minded had you usedmy stuff without asking me. Even if you had eaten ice cream that I bought formyself without asking me, or used one of my handbags without asking me, orborrowed my clothes without asking me—and even if we would have fought over whyyou did that—I don’t think I would’ve minded. If you got hit by another kid, Iwould have stood up for you and taught them a lesson. Even though I’ve neverfought with anyone in my life, I would have been willing to do it again and againfor you. I would’ve gotten medicine for you when you were sick and taken you tothe hospital when you hurt yourself. I would’ve slept next to you on nightswhen you had a nightmare and were scared, hugged you when you cried, andthought about something to make you laugh while making the silliest face in theworld when you felt depressed. To cherish dearly. I wished to know what that meant. I alsowanted to capture your entire childhood on camera, and yet I don’t even have asingle photo of you.
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I didn’t keep a single photo of P. I tried mybest to erase every memory, every trace, and every thought of P. But my effortsto completely erase P felt contrived. There was nothing I could be forced toerase. Not that I remember. Attempting to completely erase something made merealize it was impossible to completely erase something. Memories, traces,thoughts. Only time could erase and cause them to fade away. The natural way toerase something was to let it gradually fade away. Trying to speed up the processby erasing something that was meant to gradually fade away, or attempting tohold on to something that was meant to fade away on its own someday. I was likea human trying to interfere with the course of nature.
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You said you liked computers. You said thatcomputers didn’t do anything unpredictable or irrational. You said that youunderstood computers. Cause and effect. You said that computers were alwaysright and never left you feeling bewildered and frustrated. You said thatnothing about computers ever happened merely by chance, accidentally, or for noreason. You said that computer programs were not complicated. Or that, yes,they could be complicated—but that their level of complexity paled incomparison to humans. You said that the complexity of humans often left youfeeling bewildered and frustrated.
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I went into the App Store every now and thento search for Griffin. Up until your account was deleted, I knew you’d beenworking to develop a photo application called Griffin. You said that Griffinwould not only allow people to retouch their faces, but that it would also havea feature making it possible to seamlessly erase anyone from a photo. You saidthat, for example, users could use this feature to erase people appearing inthe background of a selfie. You said that it would also make it possible to erasea specific person from a group picture. In contrast to Photoshop, whichrequired editing photos after they had already been taken, this applicationwould allow users to make anyone disappear the moment they took a photo. Youwere working to develop disappearance.
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10 0 0 01
1 1 1
1 1 1
0010 0100
0010100
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I looked at a photo of P. Although part of mewanted to forget what they looked like altogether, I would add him back to my kakaoTalk contact list to look at theirface every once in a while. I couldn’t help it. But the face in the photoappeared both like the one I knew and one that I didn’t know. Their face seemedto have changed, but also seemed not to have changed. The more I looked at thephoto, the more familiar they looked, and the more unfamiliar they looked. If Istared long enough, it would feel like I both had and yet hadn’t grown distantfrom the face I remembered. There are countless ways a photo can distort aperson’s face, though. I knew this better than anyone because my work involvedretouching and editing photos. And yet, I still couldn’t take my eyes off thephoto. I formed a new impression of him that fell somewhere between the face Iremembered and the one in the photo.
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I was waiting to receive another message fromyou. I waited and waited. Perhaps I wasn’t waiting for you as much as I waswaiting for the message. You were already a message in and of yourself. Amessage which aroused feelings in me. But could I really have harbored feelingsfor someone whose name, gender, age, face, and voice I didn’t know? Although Ididn’t think it made any sense, I continued waiting. I waited and waited.Perhaps it was all P’s fault. Perhaps I wanted to talk to you about things I didn’tget to tell P or find in you what P couldn’t give me. Linking your message tohis image. I waited for your message to create—and love—someone who didn’tactually exist.
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People at the office began playing aroundwith an AI chatbot as a way to kill time. It wasn’t long before it became atrend. “Did you have lunch?” “It said it had kimchi-jjigae for lunch today.”“It’s asking me why I’m asking that kind of question.” People reacted to thethings the program said. People looked a little more excited than usual. Theysaid that the more people used the program and the more they interacted withit, the more the program would be able to learn, and the more fluent it wouldsound. Just like a human, AI learns by copying the behavior and language ofothers. If it was exposed to bad words, it would use bad language, and if itwas exposed to pretty words, it would use pretty language. Listening andspeaking were one and the same. I looked at the chat window to see what theprogram was saying.
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I send you
a digital message.
You speak to me in text.
texttext text text text text text text text text
Your face and body are made of text.
Yourthoughts and personality are made of text.
Your mind produces a soft skin.
texttext text text text text text text text
You arean organism made of text.
Usingnothing but text I can
drawand recall
your face.
I canimagine your eyes, nose, and mouth.
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It was supposed to be the last snow of thewinter according to the weather forecast. The snow fell with such intensitythat it blanketed the whole world. It finally came to a stop after the sunreached its zenith. I stepped on the snow and slowly made my way to the coffeeshop. A cat—or a dog—had left some pawprints in the snow. Shoeprints. Therewere still visible traces of someone’s passage here and there. Store ownerscame out during lunch time to clear up the snow piled up on the sidewalks.Someone was sprinkling salt on a steep road. A small snowman, a tiny littlesnowman, a snowman the size of a person, a dirty snowman, an uneven snowman, anugly snowman [. . .] a snowman with rocks for eyes, a snowman with eyebrows. Ihad no idea who made them, but there were all sorts of snowmen in front of myoffice building. Those who cleared the snow did not clear away the snowmen.
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Anyone can build a snowman, it’s easy. Youjust have to roll up some snow into two big balls and stack one of them on topof the other. Then, you can use tree branches and small rocks to create itsface. It just needs a pair of eyes, a nose, and a mouth to be a person. If it’stoo much trouble, you can just give it some eyes. But make sure you don’t justgive it a nose or a mouth. It needs eyes to be a person. It wouldn’t be asnowman without eyes.
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Youknow there’s a meeting tomorrow, right?
I’llneed the file before the end of the day!
Youknow there’s a meeting tomorrow, right?
I’llneed the file before the end of the day. :)
Youknow there’s a meeting tomorrow, right?
I’ll need the file before the end of the day.^^
Indeed,nothing is more important than eyes.
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I would think of you whenever I saw someonewith big eyes. You had big eyes when you were little, so you must still havebig eyes today. I’m sure we must have seen each other at least once before.Although we bumped into each other, we must have simply walked on withoutrecognizing each other. Back when I was in university, I worked part-time at acoffee shop around Sinchon Station, and given how crowded it was, I wouldn’t besurprised if you visited once. I take the subway every day, and given how crowdedit is, I wouldn’t be surprised if we got on the same subway once. Couldn’t youhave been one of the people I bumped shoulders with on an overcrowded train?Couldn’t we have once been sittinginside the same screening room at the movie theater? Couldn’t we once havebumped into each other on the streets of Hongdae, Sinchon, Jongno, Myeongdong,Itaewon, Sinsa, or Gangnam by chance? And if we haven’t yet, if we keep walkingthese streets, isn’t there a chance we might bump into each other? Although Iwon’t be able to recognize your face, and you won’t remember me at all, I wouldlike to see you again once.
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But we’re better off never seeing each other.Even if we were given the chance, it would be better not to. If you don’t haveany memory of me, then it’s better to keep it that way. I probably don’t existfor you. I feel strange when I think about that. I most likely don’t exist inyour memory. Your grandmother and your mother came looking for you again, andyou went back with them. Had you not gone back with them, you would’ve becomemy most beloved little sibling. When people ask me if I have a sibling, I tellthem I don’t have one, all the while thinking about you. I will keep thinkingabout you when I say that I don’t have a little sibling.
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I went out to buy some diapers for you. I wasreally young myself. I must’ve been four or five. It was the first and lasttime I would ever buy baby diapers. I did as Mom told me and went to thesupermarket to buy diapers. I was worried that I would buy the wrong diapers ormess something up. But I did my best to keep my cool. I walked out of thesupermarket with your diapers, but you have no idea how heavy they were. Igroaned as I carried the pack of diapers which was nearly as big as me. I hadto drag it a few times, but I remember doing my best not to let it touch theground. Passing by a factory, a vacant lot, and residential buildings, I keptmy eyes on our house far in the distance. Knowing that you were in that house,I walked with all my might. I was filled with a sense of responsibility. Ireminded myself that I had to take these diapers home no matter what. That Ihad to do this for you. You’re my little sibling. You’re my littlesibling. We look nothing alike, but you’re still my little sibling. I walked home to you whilereminding myself of this. I came to rely on you. I managed to walk back homebecause you were there.
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Although I really wanted to see you, and Ipromised to see you again one day, I couldn’t bring myself to reach out to you.Had we wanted to, we could’ve met at any time since we were so close. Icould’ve walked over to go see you, or you could’ve walked over to come see me.But in the end, we never did meet. We didn’t get to meet. And yet, I was stillmeeting all sorts of people every day. Are you among the people I came acrosson the subway after work? People who went down the stairs to the subway stationand vanished from my sight. The subway station seemed to swallow them up.
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I’mlooking for a face I don’t know.
人 入 人 入 人 入 人
FOREHEAD
EAR EYE EYE EAR
NOSE
MOUTH
A womanwith short bangs walks into the subway station.
A manwith a beard walks into the subway station.
FOREHEAD
EAR EYE EYE EAR
NOSE
人 入 人 入 人 入 人
MOUTH
人 入 人 入 人
You’reeither one of the two or neither of the two.
You’reeither a woman, a man, both, or neither.
You’reeither older, younger, or the same age as me.
Youhave a name that I don’t know.
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I went back into the App Store. It was theonly way I could look for you. When the application was released, I would beable to learn the names of the developer or the members of the developmentteam. If I was lucky, I might even get to know your contact information.However, even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to contact you. I wasn’t thinkingabout contacting you. In reality, your contact information wasn’t all thatimportant. Perhaps, I just wanted to see Griffin. I wanted to see the Griffinlogo, check out the Griffin features, and download the Griffin application.No—in reality, Griffin wasn’t all that important. Perhaps, I just wantedGriffin to appear in the search results when I searched for it. That’s all Iwanted. That’s really all it was. Because you were working to develop atechnology that could make anything inside a picture disappear the moment itwas taken. Because you worked on developing Griffin. If you really did exist,then Griffin would one day be released. If you truly did exist, if you trulydid exist. I made sure to get each consonant and vowel right as I typed awaythe letters on the keyboard—G, R, I, F, F, I, N.
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I wanted to tell you about it one day. Simplybecause, for no particular reason, just once. That I used to have a littlesibling as well. Or rather, that there once was a little one who could havebecome my little sibling. You always paid attention to me when I talked. Icould have spoken to you about the things I couldn’t tell P. Although it wasall behind me now, I struggled through so many things on my own. I desperatelyneeded someone to fall back on. My father fell back on alcohol, but I hadnothing to fall back on. I was worried that saying I was lonely would actuallymake me lonely, so the word lonely disappeared from my vocabulary. But I feltlike you were someone I could say anything to. Without the need to be logicalor to make any sense. I could talk to you about my little sibling, and eventell you all the things I wanted to tell them. Up until your account gotdeleted, I had felt as though I could have told you anything.
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No one thought it strange when the snowmelted and disappeared without leaving a trace. Even though the snowmen haddisappeared, no one went looking for them. It was only natural for snow to meltwith the rising temperature. If snow melted, snowmen would naturally melt anddisappear, too. Their gradual disappearance was only natural. I have beenworking around here for the past three years, and as I walk these streets everyday, I have witnessed them change little by little. Life went on. Without snow.Life went on. Even without snow. Today, too, I think about coffee. Wanting todrink coffee, I walk and walk.
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Nice to see you again. It was the first timethe coffee shop employee addressed me. Although I didn’t know their name, andthey didn’t know mine, we exchanged a few brief words. The coffee shop employeehad big eyes. They caught my attention the first time I came here. The one whocould have become my little sibling would have been about the same age as them.I looked into their eyes and ordered a coffee. I then grabbed a seat and waitedfor my coffee. I waited. For someone. Just then, the coffee shop door swungopen and someone walked in. It’s that person I saw yesterday. Just like me,that person comes here alone every day. That person looked around. That personmust’ve been looking for somebody or for somewhere to sit down. That persongrabbed a seat without ordering anything. They seemed to be waiting forsomebody. Was I the one waiting for them? Even though I did not wait for them,the same people still showed up every day. The ones who came here at lunchevery day. The people who worked nearby. They were all people whose names Ididn’t know. Although I wasn’t waiting for them, I always felt a bit strangewhenever we crossed paths. It was as though I had been waiting for them. Asthough I knew them well. Nice to see you again, I could have triedgreeting them. I might or might not have been waiting for them. I might ormight not have been waiting for anyone. I might have been waiting for someonewhose name I didn’t know but whose face I knew, someone whose name I knew butwhose face I didn’t know, someone whose face I knew but who I could no longerrecognize, or someone whose face I could never have recognized to begin with.But I didn’t come here to wait. I was waiting but not waiting for anyone. Awarm coffee. I was waiting but not waiting for anyone.
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Winter has now faded away. Following nature’scourse. Winter has entirely faded away and the days have drawn out entirely,allowing me to see the sun still shining brightly on my way back from work.Apartment buildings under construction. An intersection. Cars waiting for thegreen light. People crossing the street. Baskin-Robbins. Olive Young. Peoplewalking out of stores. A high school. Students in uniforms walking out of thefront gate. A student on his bicycle passing swiftly through a crowd. Weeds growingall along train tracks. An old wall. The same old wall. A concrete wall. A treebehind a wall. A tree. A tree. Trees with budding leaves. A white magnoliatree. A tree. A yellow forsythia. A forsythia. A forsythia. The forsythias arein full bloom. The scenery outside the subway window shifts rapidly beforefading away, fading away. I take out my cellphone to take a photo of thescenery as it fades away. I hold my cellphone up to the window and turn thecamera on,
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Iappear on the screen. I switch to the rear camera setting to take a photo ofthe scenery. The screen changes to reveal the rapidly changing scenery outsidethe subway window as it fades away, fades away. Forsythias. Forsythias.Forsythias. My gaze remains locked on the camera screen. Roadside trees.Roadside trees. Roadside trees. A building. Roadside trees. A building.Roadside trees. A building. Roadside trees. The scenery changes and fades away,fades away from my locked gaze. Rapidly, more rapidly. It changes nonstop andfades away. pixelpixelpixelpixelpixelpixelpixel
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Translated by Léo-Thomas Brylowski
Writer 필자 소개
Seo Ije
Translator 번역가 소개
Léo-Thomas Brylowski
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More From Issue Vol.62 Winter 2023
