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[Writer's Notes] The Scalding Taste of Solitude During the Berlin Residency Program scrap
by Song Sokze
November 14, 2014
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Author Bio 작가 소개
Song Sokze
On June 2, I boarded a flight for Frankfurt, Germany. I travel frequently but I had never lived away from home for as long as three months.
The apartment I stayed in was a quiet, spacious studio with a lot of east-facing windows that made it difficult to sleep in. Located in a residential neighborhood in southwestern Berlin, the surrounding area felt warm and peopled, and I liked the fact that Kneipes dotted the chestnut tree-lined streets.
Berlin is the most international city in Germany with plenty of tourists and an open atmosphere. Near the subway station that was a five-minute walk from my apartment, there was a discount store, a department store, and a specialty store that sold all kinds of goods. And at the nearby restaurants, I could sample foods from all over the world, including Korea, Vietnam, Turkiye, Greece, Italy, China, and Japan. Thanks to the Asian supermarket, I could cook for myself like I did back at home. The kitchen was fully equipped with cooking utensils.
However, I experienced some inconveniences as well. It took nearly a month to get the Internet up and running. The Internet in Germany draws a lot of complaints because of the low connection speed and the time it takes to sign up with a new Internet service provider. There was a specialty coffee shop about 10 minutes from my place where I could use the wireless Internet for free, so I reported there just about every morning until I had Internet access at home.
I had been asked to give a lecture at five places. After completing a short story, I spent the end of June through the beginning of July visiting Ruhr-University Bochum in the south of Berlin, Bonn University, and lastly the University of Hamburg in the north. In mid-July, when I began writing my novel, I delivered a lecture at the Free University of Berlin and the University of Tübingen in southwest Germany. Students majoring or interested in Korean studies made up most of the audience, and sometimes there were a few Korean-Germans in attendance as well. I read excerpts from translations of my novels, which was followed by a Q&A session. During the rather brief event, which lasted for about two hours, the audience remained enthusiastic and serious.
I usually traveled by train for these lectures. The “German Pass” is a type of discount rail pass that grants unlimited travel within a certain period of time (typically less than a month) for a set number of days (three to 10 days). Traveling on this pass was significantly cheaper than buying separate tickets for each destination. I used the remaining days on my pass to visit Nuremberg, Weimar, Leipzig, Köln, and the northern coast. As I traveled alone by train, I experienced for the first time in 30 years the fluttering anticipation that I had felt when embarking on a journey to a strange, faraway place. The only difference was that it wasn’t free this time around.
The Korean word for Germany (獨逸 in hanja, pronounced “Dokil”) also means “hiding alone.” And I was, in fact, alone and lonely in a quiet town in the German capital of Baekrim (伯林). I took countless walks underneath the chestnut trees that stood like pillars. I got lost in thoughts and memories. To combat loneliness, I kept myself busy, visiting Sachsenhausen, the site of the Gestapo headquarters and a concentration camp, Wannsee, a vacation spot for many Berliners, and the Neues Museum. I also went to the Beethoven, Bach, Goethe, and Schiller museums, the Berlin Gemäldegalerie and the Dresden Gemäldegalerie, and the Alte Pinakothek in Munich. The famed restaurants of Berlin that had been recommended to me by locals fell short of my expectations. I was invited to the home of acquaintances both inside and outside the city on five occasions, where I had a chance to hear about their lives. I also attended the international beer festival and the St. Christopher’s Day Festival. But I was still lonely. I did get a lot of writing done though, thanks to my sheer loneliness. Solitude is the cauldron as well as the firewood of creative writing. Without solitude, the residency program would have lost much of its significance.
The first half of my stay in Berlin passed slowly, while the second half passed in the blink of an eye. My trips to the nearby Czech Republic, Austria, and several other German cities including GÖttingen and Wolfsburg, were partly to blame; but I was always so busy without getting much done—so much so that I can hardly remember anything from this time period—largely because I finally had Internet access at home. If I stay in Berlin again, I won’t sign up for Internet service even if it is somewhat inconvenient.
My memorable stay in Berlin and safe return home were possible with the help of many people. As I look back now, what stands out the most is my debt of gratitude to them.
by Song Sokze
Writer 필자 소개
Song Sokze
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